At least make sure they are 18
Why
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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