All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
