Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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