I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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