SEEEEXXX PLEASE
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
These tits shall not be calmed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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