I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
