dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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