the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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