We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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