This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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