what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
