She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
