Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
