ya dads aren't the best wingmen
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
