i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize