I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize