I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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