fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
try to milk me bitch
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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