I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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