i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
