I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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