Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
