the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Your tits are I can't wait for
Where is the hickey?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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