We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
