I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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