At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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