I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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