Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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