I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
