Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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