She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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