So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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