who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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