one might say we're banned from that church
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
