Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
