It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
