Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
