Moan for me like Helen Keller
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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