Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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