When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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