Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
