the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
