Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
