Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
