i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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