I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
soo... how was my night?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
