I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize