Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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