so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
