Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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