What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
