he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
