you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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