You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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