Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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