She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
