Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
