I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I wish i was in the wii world.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
