You smell like a Billy Joel song
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
