Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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