if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
