Sponge bath it is.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
