My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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