have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
