i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How drunk are you?
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