i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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